FREE RANGE

Claire with her cousin Tucker - March 2013 Virginia.

As we were preparing to move here, I had been told and saw firsthand on our "look see" trip that children in Australia are very independent.  They travel great distances on public transportation WITHOUT their parents.  They ride buses, trains, walk to and from public locations beginning at very young ages.  Tom says that some train stations look like they are crawling with ants (children) as they gather to get to school in the mornings. 

I was not that TYPE (loose & carefree) of parent and I knew that moving here would stretch my comfort zone in more ways then one.  I did not know if I could do it because I have been the kind of parent that does not let my three daughters out of my sight.  They have been glued to my hip since birth.  We have only had them sleep at someone else's house (other than family) one time when Tom and I were on a house hunting trip years ago.  I guess it is safe to say that I have deep seated control issues.  :)

So, as you can imagine, moving to Sydney where children travel on public transportation in the BIG city regularly has been a little overwhelming to me.  Claire walks to the train station each morning and boards a public bus to travel to school.  The first week of school, I begged her to text me when she got to the train station and to send me a second text once she made it to school.  She looked at me as if I was insane that I would be so worried.  She kept telling me that she was 14 and a Freshmen in high school.

In preparing to move here, Claire did a lot of research about Australia and learned that it is a really SAFE place to live.  So when I was acting a little nuts about all of the texts I was asking her to send me...she began to quote statistics regarding her safety in this BIG city.  We finally agreed to a compromise.  She agreed and that she would text me when she got to the train station in the morning and again in the afternoon when she arrived back to the station.  However, I knew that I needed to get control over my ability to let go - if just a little.

I remembered a book that one of my friends recommended to me titled Free Range Kids.  I immediately picked up a copy and began reading.  Basically in the book, it states that if you never give your kids the opportunity to be independent, they will lack confidence and struggle to do things that might be hard or out of their comfort zone.  Tom and I are trying really hard to raise confident, strong, happy, and independent women.  We want them to feel like they can do really difficult things even if they have never done them before.  We want them to go out into the world and BE CONFIDENT.

I am promoting confidence and independence at home BUT, I am scared to death to let them out of my sight for fear of what might happen in my absence.  My actions did not really match my expressions about the importance of confidence.  

So I determined that I was going to start to let them have a little more freedom.  It has been hard and liberating at the same time.   Little by little, I have been adjusting (let's be honest - it has only been 9 weeks but who's counting).  However, last night I was THROWN into the deep end.  Claire was invited by our Bishop's daughter (Head Pastor of our church) and a few friends to ride the train to downtown Sydney, have dinner in the city, walk around and see some of the sights and then ride the train home at 10 pm. They were going to be with a fairly large group of friends.  Claire felt like this was her big chance to break free and test my new found philosophy.  I could not believe I was going to do it....but, I did.  I tired to think of every reason as to why she could not go but, I knew it was TIME to rip the band-aid off and start putting into practice all I was reading.  

Claire left the "nest" and I survived.  She had a wonderful time.  The group of kids that she went with were very responsible and she loved the independence!  Confidence and Independence are beginning to grow here in Australia for all five of us.  :)

I am so thankful for wonderful friends that share their wisdom and parenting advice with me.  It helps to make me become a better mother.  I am hopeful my three beautiful girls survive all of the mistakes that I make along the way.  Claire is really thankful for my awesome friends--Thanks Sara B. :)

She is so happy about the new INDEPENDENCE - look at that smile.